What Is Stoicism? Key Concepts for the INFJ Mind

Stoicism isn’t usually the first thing people think of when they hear about managing emotions or finding calm. But for me, Stoicism has become more than just an interesting idea—it’s been a toolkit that I can use in my day-to-day life. And it fits surprisingly well with the INFJ personality.

So, what exactly is Stoicism? Originally, it’s an ancient Greek philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium in the early 3rd century BC. The core idea of Stoicism is to live in harmony with nature, meaning we focus on what we can control and accept what we can’t. Stoic teachings focus on resilience, discipline, and finding inner peace, especially when life feels chaotic. The Stoics taught that, regardless of what happens to us, we have the power to decide how we respond.

Let me walk you through a few key concepts that are particularly helpful for me as an INFJ. I hope they resonate with you, too.

The Dichotomy of Control: What’s Up to Us and What Isn’t

This is probably Stoicism’s most important idea, and it’s simple: some things are within our control, and others aren’t. For an INFJ, who tends to be sensitive to how others feel and often driven by ideals, this has been a game-changer. The Stoics remind us that we can’t control everything that happens in our lives, but we can control how we respond. This includes our thoughts, actions, and intentions. So rather than getting stuck in overthinking or stressing about what’s beyond reach, I try to bring my focus back to what I can change.

For example, if I’m working on a project and start worrying about whether people will like it, Stoicism reminds me that I can’t control their reactions. What I can control is doing my best. This shift doesn’t erase my concerns, but it keeps me from getting lost in them.

Amor Fati: Loving What Happens

Another core Stoic idea is amor fati, which means “love of fate.” This doesn’t mean we have to pretend everything is great all the time, but it’s a reminder to embrace what happens, even if it’s hard. As INFJs, we tend to look for meaning in everything, which can make difficult situations even harder to accept. Amor fati teaches us to accept life’s challenges as part of our path.

When things don’t go as planned, I try to practice amor fati by looking at it as a growth opportunity. It’s not about ignoring disappointment, but about finding a way to move forward. This mindset has helped me stay balanced, especially in times of uncertainty.

Virtue Is Enough: Focusing on Integrity and Kindness

The Stoics believed that living a virtuous life—focused on wisdom, courage, justice, and self-discipline, is the ultimate goal. For an INFJ, who usually has a strong moral compass, this concept really resonates. Stoicism encourages us to live in alignment with our values, regardless of external results. This means doing what feels right, even when it’s hard or unpopular.

For example, if I find myself in a situation where I feel pressured to do something that goes against my values, Stoicism reminds me that living with integrity is more important than pleasing others. This focus on virtue over external outcomes has been a helpful guide, allowing me to stay true to myself without getting overwhelmed by outside pressures.

Premeditatio Malorum: Preparing for Challenges

Stoicism also teaches us to anticipate challenges, a practice called premeditatio malorum, or “the premeditation of evils.” For an INFJ, this can feel counterintuitive since we often prefer to focus on positive potential. But by imagining possible difficulties, we can be better prepared and less surprised when things don’t go smoothly.

Rather than dwelling on what could go wrong, I try to use premeditatio malorum to remind myself that setbacks are part of life. This doesn’t mean expecting the worst but preparing for it. It’s helped me become more resilient, especially when facing big changes.

Memento Mori: Remembering Our Mortality

This last concept might sound grim, but it’s actually incredibly grounding. Memento mori means “remember you will die,” and it’s a Stoic practice of reflecting on our limited time. As INFJs, we’re often searching for meaning and purpose. Memento mori gives that search perspective, reminding us not to take time for granted. It’s a way to prioritize what really matters.

Instead of worrying about small things, memento mori helps me focus on living each day with purpose. It’s a reminder that our time is precious, and that how we choose to spend it is up to us.

If you’re someone who also seeks meaning, struggles with overthinking, or feels deeply about the world around you, maybe Stoicism can be a helpful guide. It’s not about changing who you are, it’s about finding ways to be at peace with it.