Ever Feel Stuck Before You Even Start?

In my book That Introverted Guy: An INFJ’s Journey, I share my personal struggles with self-doubt and fear of failure. Eli, the main character, faces the same internal battles I did when trying to start this project. His journey shows how fear and perfectionism can freeze us, but growth happens when we start—imperfectly but authentically. The truth is, if you wait for perfection, you’ll never start. The key is to begin anyway. Move past the fear and take that first step.

Ever sat down to work on something, feeling like you’ve got everything you need to get started, but when it’s time to actually do the work, you freeze? You know what you want to create, but suddenly your mind goes blank, your ideas scatter, and everything feels overwhelming?

That’s happened to me more times than I can count.

The pressure to get it right from the start, the fear that maybe I’m not enough, that maybe no one will care about what I’m trying to put out into the world.

You ever feel that way? Like you’re ready, but not ready at all?”


The Connection

As you know I’m an INFJ personality type. I tend to look for the deeper meaning of things and get stuck in my head a lot. I’ve always been into studying different philosophies, psychology and personality typing just to get a better grasp on how I tick.

For a while now I’ve been wanting to start something that feels meaningful to me and in that process, I wrote a “book” called That Introverted Guy: An INFJ’s Journey.

It’s not a very long book, and to be honest I’ve never been one that was much into writing. I’ve always struggled with articulating my thoughts to pen and paper. It always felt like too big of a chore. But through writing this book, I learned a lot about myself, about overcoming my own doubts, fears, and insecurities.

It’s those lessons I’m sharing with you today. I’m not here as some expert, but as someone who’s been in the trenches, working through the exact struggles I talk about in the book.

 So, the book…

The book follows the story of Eli, a guy who’s trying to rebuild his life and find meaning after feeling lost for years.  His journey, his doubts, fears, and struggles with life, are a reflection of everything I went through in my own self, while trying to start this project and share my message with those who choose to listen..

When I say Eli’s story is my story? It really is. His inner battles? Those are mine too, I used Eli as my creative outlet to get my thoughts written down, to get myself unstuck so to speak. And that’s what I want to talk about today: how we all get stuck, how fear holds us back, and how we can push through it to keep moving forward.


The Struggle

Now, Eli’s story kicks off with him sitting at a desk, ready to start a project.  He’s prepared, he’s got his notes, but when it comes time to act, nothing happens. His desk is cluttered with ideas, but they don’t make sense. Sound familiar?

I know I’ve been there. I spent so much time planning, researching, overthinking, and when it came time to actually get my work out into the world? I froze. Everything I thought I had figured out suddenly felt like a mess. And that’s where Eli’s at, too.


The Quote

Eli remembers this quote:

‘If I expect nothing, I’ll never be disappointed.’

-Eli

And I get it. It’s a comforting thought. Don’t expect much, don’t set yourself up for failure. It sounds safe. I used to think that way. If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be let down. But here’s the problem, when you expect nothing, you don’t leave any room for possibility. Sure, you avoid disappointment, but you also avoid the chance to grow.

You stay in this safe place, where nothing changes. I spent years protecting myself from failure, but in doing so, I never moved forward. I think that’s the trap Eli’s in, too. That’s the trap I had to break free from. Waiting for everything to be perfect, waiting for the right moment to start, that’s not the way to make progress. Progress comes when you start, even when you’re “not” ready.


The Internal Battle

As Eli starts his struggles, he starts hearing this “voice”, Ego. He’s the loud, relentless voice that tells you,

“Who are you to try this? You don’t have what it takes. Look at everyone else, they’re doing it better.”

-Ego

Ego is good at convincing him that he’s not enough. That voice? I know it well. It’s the one that told me I wasn’t ready to put myself out there, the one that said, ‘Who’s going to listen to you?’ He loves to remind you of your past mistakes, your past failures. It keeps you small, keeps you in a place where you don’t take risks. And honestly, it kept me stuck for a long time. But here’s the truth, Ego is always going to be there. The trick is to learn how to deal with it.


The Calm Voice

On the other side of the coin, there’s Kai. Kai is the opposite, the calm, wise stoic voice in Eli’s head that reminds him of what really matters.

Kai tells him,

‘This isn’t about proving anything to anyone. It’s about being real, sharing your truth, and letting yourself grow through the process.’

-Kai

That’s the part I had to learn. When I started this project, I kept waiting for everything to be perfect before I put it out into the world. But perfection doesn’t exist. And the sooner you stop chasing it, the sooner you get to focus on what really matters, showing up, being authentic, and allowing yourself to grow along the way.

Kai is the voice that reminds Eli that growth happens when you just keep going,

“Imperfectly” but consistently. And that’s been my journey too. It’s not about getting everything right from the start, it’s about showing up, no matter how messy it feels.


Closing Thoughts

So here’s the lesson I learned while create this chapter. If you wait until everything is perfect, you’ll never start. That voice of doubt, the one that tells you you’re not ready?

It’s going to be there every single time. But you can’t let it stop you. The key is to start anyway. Don’t wait for perfection, because it doesn’t exist. Just take the first step and keep going.

That’s the part of Eli’s journey I relate to so much. It’s about moving past the fear and starting, imperfectly, but authentically. That’s where real growth happens.


Well that wraps up todays letter. Next time, we’ll dive into Chapter 2:

The Battle with Perfectionism.

 Eli struggles with trying to make everything perfect before he moves forward. I’ll be sharing how he struggled with this and how he learned how he can start to let go of that and move forward with real momentum. Remember, stop waiting for the perfect moment. Just start. I’ll see you next time.

That Introverted Guy
That Introverted Guy